Ten trends I’m too “mumsy” to opt into.

So I don’t class myself as a mumsy mum, but there have definitely been some changes which leave me saying “oh I can’t do that, I’m a mother!” And to be fair, in some cases, I’m glad of the excuse!

1. Not using your sleeves! 

Ok, so it’s elegant and uber fashionable but practical? I think not! Imagine trying to carry your changing bag and a car seat weighed down by over a stone worth of baby, whilst balancing your coat around you shoulders – glamorous! 

2. Saying shit like lit, fam, kmt…

Not only do I not know what half of these made up words mean, but I’d sound like an utter wanker. Gone are the days of slipping in words like “reem” into my everyday vocabulary (yes, I did that. Even had a tshirt with it on. Let’s move on). Fam possibly if I’m referring to my family and not every Tom, Dick and Harry. 

3. Dying your hair a funny colour

I went for pink in some kind of desperate attempt to stop feeling like a grown up. Looked like a twat, especially at my mother and baby groups – it’s just not me! 

4. Vaping

Just no. Great, use it to quit smoking, but this is not a skill, hobby or fashion accessory.

5. Pokemon Go

The wave of embarrassment when my other half and antenatal class teacher started comparing Pokemon.

6. Sunday Club

Or any kind of school night drinking session! I’m not even back at work and the prospect of this makes me shudder. Thanks but, no thanks. 

7. Personal Trainers

We all get it’s super fashionable to go to the gym these days and virtually everyone I know (who doesn’t have kids) has a PT. Even my mum who you couldn’t have paid to go to a gym back in the day. And I know why. I have about 2 hours to myself everyday and I sure as hell ain’t spending it sweating my back out, getting spurred on by some pumped up gym head! If I have any energy to move from the sofa, it will be to the shower that misses me! 

8. Stick on bras


9. Festivals

Very sad about this one. But it just isn’t my bag anymore. Please don’t invite me to any.

10. Dabbing 

For the fear of being an embarrassing parent and looking like a complete nob – absolutely not. Also, not quite sure what it is! 


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