I’ve been a mum for almost six months… how did that happen?! Sometimes people call me mummy, refer to Eva as “your daughter” and reference me as a parent and I’m like “who me?”. But yes, here I am, sustaining another human other than myself and she’s turning out to be a pretty amazing human, even if I do say so myself!
I’m a great believer in mum knows best, mum knows everything and mum’s always right. And now all of those terms apply to me too right? Wrong.
“Everyone trusts a mum”
Since becoming a mum, I’ve found myself called upon for advice by all manner of people! Friends, family, strangers, long lost school friends, instagrammers. But what qualifies me to dish out advice? And why do people value it? Truth is, everyone trusts a mum and once you’re in the mum club, that means your advice is trusted also!
“As soon as you think you’ve got something nailed, the game changes!”
Giving advice however, is a huge responsibility and also a completely unexpected part of motherhood (for me anyway). But I think it is a part of motherhood for all mums. We all love to have our actions, feelings and parenting skills validated by someone else who’s “got the t-shirt“, because at some point or another we’re all wingin’ it! As soon as you think you’ve got something nailed, the game changes! And having someone else say “same here!” when they too are raising a tiny human, just gives us the reassurance we need.
“I’ve been a mum for six months (hardly a subject matter expert)”
Why do they call them agony aunts? They should so call them agony mothers!! But then again, I do not claim to be the font of all knowledge. I’ve given birth once and it wasn’t too traumatic (just averagely traumatic as I think labour is a traumatic experience). I have been a mum for six months (hardly a subject matter expert). But if I can give comfort to someone who is where I was three or four months ago, then great.
“I abide by no rules but my own”
I wouldn’t say I give advice as much as I say how I did things. I do things my way, I hate guidelines and abide by no rules but my own (badass, sadass).
I have good days; I attend baby sensory, make organic baby food, walk everywhere with the pram, do a load of washing – getting it dried and put away in the same day (this I’m particularly proud of because I consider myself to be a fucking miracle worker when it does happen!), go to swimming lessons, stick to my diet, go to pram fit, wear make up, shower and entertain my child without the assistance of Peppa Pig!
I also have days where I don’t get out of my pjs, watch back to back friends, eat my lunch in my car sat outside my own home – with the engine on because it’s the first time I’ve got Eva to nap in the day in over a week, go to a restaurant and forget nappies (what a fucking nightmare), open a packet of dummies going around the shop (because I forgot those too), eat a mars ice cream for breakfast, go to the loo for five minutes peace and invite my mother in law round for tea because I know she’ll do the washing up afterwards!
“I genuinely think I’m doing a good job”
So I give out my advice, because people ask for it and I genuinely think I’m doing a good job. But it all comes with the realism of the bad days. I don’t claim to be super mum, but I’m not a slob mum either. I’m where the majority of us are; coasting along in the happy medium.