I have now officially been off work for 150 days! How did that happen?
I always thought I’d be itching to get back to work, bored of day time TV and longing for some adult conversation. Turns out, I’m busier now more than ever and loving the new social life that comes with being a new mummy!
Signing up to every baby group going was my way of ensuring I wouldn’t be bored and that Eva would get lots of stimulation. Read more about what we get up to here – How To Survive Maternity Leave.
However, I know mat leave bliss can’t last forever and I’ve had that phone call from my boss asking me to arrange my first keep in touch day at work. Couple that with last week reserving Eva’s place at nursery and to say I’m in a tizz about that to do would be an understatement.
I’d intending for a while to shift around my hours; working four longer days and having a day off with Eva. This was to cut down on childcare costs without having too much impact on my salary (and also to get some quality mama daughter time). However, the nursery we’ve opted for has made it cheaper to at for five days instead of four.
So it begs the question “what the hell do I do now?” Having just moved house, we need the money, so going part time isn’t an option. But there’s more than just part time or full time to consider. There’s phased return, compressed hours and the whole issue around do I even want to be a project manager anymore?
Either way my head is in a complete spin and I do not feel ready to make these decisions or even contemplate leaving my baby just yet.
You can’t slow down time (although, when I was 37 weeks pregnant, I was pretty sure you could!), but even if I could, will it ever feel right to go back to work?
Maternity leave is a funny thing. It’s the biggest break I’ve ever had from working or routine since I started school! It gives you all sorts of time to think. For the past five years I’ve jumped at every opportunity in my career, without much direction and just “seeing what comes up”. So I suppose for the first time in my life I’m questioning if the field I’m in is where I want to be. But if not project management, then what?
I suppose the reality is that if I could afford to be a full time mum right now, I probably would. Unfortunately, that just can’t be a reality for us.